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Sylwia Laskowska
Sylwia Laskowska

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The Email That Nearly Stopped Me From Becoming a Developer

WeCoded 2026: Echoes of Experience πŸ’œ

This is a submission for the 2026 WeCoded Challenge: Echoes of Experience

I stood on stage in front of a nearly full cinema hall that had been converted into a conference venue for the day. My slides filled the enormous screen behind me. Bright white lights shone straight into my face, making it almost impossible to see the audience.

I had been preparing for this talk for several weeks. Not because the topic was difficult. Quite the opposite β€” I knew it very well.

But there was something else in the back of my mind.
How do I convince the audience to trust me?

I am not a programming celebrity. My last public talk had been more than five years earlier, and I was pretty sure nobody remembered it. And, if I'm being honest, I don't exactly look like the stereotypical senior developer or team lead.

More like: β€œWhere did she even come from?”

Of course, all of this existed only in my head. Conference audiences are usually wonderful and supportive.

Still, the thought kept returning. There had to be a simple way to win them over.

And then I realized I had the perfect story.

Me on JS Poland stage


I began my talk about migrating legacy systems to modern frameworks.

I started with a few sentences I had memorized β€” a classic tip for public speakers: memorize the beginning, and the rest will flow.

Then I said:

β€œI actually know quite a lot about legacy systems.
I built my first website when I was twelve.
HTML 4.01. Framesets. Visitor counter. Guestbook.
No CSS.
But who needs CSS when you can have falling snow in winter?”

On the slide behind me appeared a screenshot of that ancient website β€” or rather a reconstruction of it, because the original had disappeared somewhere in the depths of the early internet.

Website from 2000 year with 9 planets

The audience burst out laughing and applauded.

I breathed out in relief.

After that, everything flowed easily. The presentation went well β€” even I have to admit that, and believe me, I am my own harshest critic. A few people came up to talk afterward, some congratulated me, and a couple even quoted parts of my talk later on LinkedIn.

It was a wonderful moment.

But to understand why that joke worked so well, we need to go much further back in time.


The Internet at the Turn of the Millennium

Poland, late 90s.

Our first PC ran some old version of Windows that had to be installed from floppy disks. The monitor was a huge CRT beast that took up half the desk.

Connecting to the internet was a whole ritual back then.

First you clicked the dial-up icon. Then the modem began its strange mechanical symphony β€” screeches, whistles, and metallic noises that sounded like two robots arguing through a telephone line.

While the modem was working, the phone line was dead. If someone tried to call us, they would just hear an endless busy signal.

And the internet was expensive.

I had a strict limit: fifteen minutes per day. If the phone bill was too high at the end of the month, my punishment was simple β€” no internet the following month.

And as you probably remember, pages loaded painfully slowly back then.

After yet another expensive month, my father announced that he was deeply disappointed in this whole internet thing. If he had known I would just waste time browsing strange websites, he never would have arranged access in the first place. Maybe it was time to disconnect it altogether.

I was terrified.

But that threat also inspired me.

If I loved the internet so much, maybe I should create something on it.


Building My First Website

I downloaded an HTML course onto the hard drive β€” reading tutorials online was out of the question with our connection limits.

I still remember how exciting it felt. I studied the tags and built my first pages with flushed cheeks and total concentration.

CSS either didn't exist yet or wasn't widely used, because I didn't touch it at all. Everything relied on attributes like fontSize and fontColor.

One of the biggest design achievements of the time was something called framesets β€” splitting the screen into multiple HTML files and navigating the site that way.

The topic of the site was obvious to me. I was fascinated by space, especially the Solar System β€” which, at the time, still had nine planets. πŸ₯Ή

Eventually I needed hosting and a domain name. Naturally they had to be free β€” we are talking about a website built by a twelve-year-old.

To his credit, when my dad saw how passionate I had become, he quietly stretched the fifteen-minute internet rule so I could keep learning.

Finally, my creation went live.

I was incredibly proud.


The Email

So did I live happily ever after, climbing the ladder of a successful programming career?

Not quite.

A few days or maybe weeks after launching the site, I sent the link to my cousin, who was a year older and also loved computers. My cousin had a friend β€” three or four years older than me β€” who, in my eyes, was a true computer genius.

He probably was objectively good. A few years later he went on to study computer science at one of the best universities in Poland.

And, if I'm being honest, I also had a bit of a crush on him. Apparently I have always had a soft spot for nerds. πŸ˜… (To be honest, today I don't even remember his name.)

A few days later he sent me a long email.

In polite language, he absolutely destroyed my website.

He wrote things like:

β€œThis website is cluttering the internet.”
β€œYou can immediately tell it was made by a twelve-year-old.”
β€œYou should probably just delete it.”

I remember staring at the screen in silence. My face went hot.

I didn't delete the website.

But I also didn't keep learning to program.

Quite the opposite β€” the email discouraged me so much that I completely stopped. And I had such ambitious plans back then.

If I had shown that message to my parents, they probably would have laughed it off. But I was too embarrassed, so I kept it to myself.

Until now.


Coming Back

Looking back today, I don't even blame that boy.

If he somehow remembered sending that email, he would probably shake his head in disbelief.

Eventually, as you can see, I returned to programming. By the time I was fourteen, I was already building websites that didn't just clutter the internet β€” they even earned me a bit of money.

And yet sometimes I still wonder what might have happened if that message hadn't clipped my wings.

Maybe I would have become a professor at MIT.

Maybe the next Mark Zuckerberg. 🀣

Of course I'm joking. Most likely my career would have turned out exactly the same as it did β€” which, honestly, is not bad at all.

But I still think about that twelve-year-old girl staring at the screen.

And sometimes I wonder how many future developers end their story right there.


A Small Lesson

Constructive criticism is one of the most valuable things we can receive as developers.

But there is a difference between helping someone grow and convincing them they should never have started in the first place.

Every developer begins with something imperfect. Something messy. Something amateur.

Something like a twelve-year-old’s website with framesets, a guestbook, and falling snow.

The lucky ones simply never receive an email telling them to delete it.

Top comments (81)

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pascal_cescato_692b7a8a20 profile image
Pascal CESCATO

Honestly, the email says more about the sender than about you.

It reads like peak teenage overconfidence mixed with a bit of β€œinternet expert syndrome” β€” very blunt, very certain, and not exactly subtle.

What stands out is your reaction. You did get hit by it β€” which is completely normal, especially at 12, when you’re proud of something you built and someone just tears it down. That kind of cold shower can sting.

What matters is that you didn’t stay there. You processed it, stepped back, and kept going. That’s the part a lot of people (even adults) struggle with.

If anything, this kind of moment is almost a rite of passage in tech β€” running into someone who feels the need to question your legitimacy.

The difference is what you do after. And you clearly turned it into something constructive.

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sylwia-lask profile image
Sylwia Laskowska

Thanks so much for this, Pascal β€” I really appreciate your perspective πŸ’œ

And you’re absolutely right. The hardest part wasn’t even the email itself, but the fact that it actually killed that spark in me for a while.

What’s funny (and a bit scary) is that I don’t even clearly remember what made me come back to programming. I think it might have been some kind of school competition.

Which just shows how important those small initiatives can be. Sometimes it only takes one opportunity, one nudge at the right moment, to bring someone back on track.

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pascal_cescato_692b7a8a20 profile image
Pascal CESCATO

Actually, I don’t think he extinguished your motivation.

He definitely dealt it a blow β€” but probably less than it felt at the time. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be here talking about it today.

It only took a small spark to bring it back. Like a gentle breeze over embers hidden under the ashes.

And at that point, it’s no longer just a flame β€” it’s a wildfire. The second ignition is always stronger.

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sylwia-lask profile image
Sylwia Laskowska

I really like that perspective!

And you know, it actually reminds me of my later school years… and to be honest, it wasn’t all that smooth either. For example, my computer science teacher β€” a woman β€” clearly favored the boys πŸ˜…

But maybe that’s a story for next year’s contest πŸ˜„

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pascal_cescato_692b7a8a20 profile image
Pascal CESCATO

That sounds like a sequel already writing itself πŸ˜„

Funny how the pattern shifts but the mechanism stays the same β€” different context, same kind of bias. This time not a blunt email, but something quieter… and arguably more insidious.

In a way, it makes your trajectory even more interesting. It’s one thing to bounce back once β€” it’s another to keep moving forward when the friction becomes structural.

So yes, I’d definitely read that β€œnext chapter.” Something tells me it wouldn’t just be a story about a teacher.

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sylwia-lask profile image
Sylwia Laskowska

Exactly, I think that story would be quite an interesting one too! πŸ˜„

But well… I guess it will have to wait until next year πŸ˜„

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the_nortern_dev profile image
NorthernDev

This was such a great read, Sylwia. Your description of the dial-up modem ritual took me right back to my own childhood. I can still hear that awful mechanical screeching in my head, not to mention the absolute panic of running up the phone bill. It is funny how universal that experience was. πŸ˜‚

As for that older nerd who wrote you that terrible email... well, considering how things turned out, I would say he seriously missed out. His loss, our gain. I am really glad you did not let him stop you from building. We definitely need more falling snow on the web anyway.

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sylwia-lask profile image
Sylwia Laskowska

Haha, exactly β€” shared experiences of old (sorry… I mean experienced πŸ˜„) developers!

And yes, I have no idea why the trend of falling snow in winter disappeared… it clearly deserves a comeback. Although fun fact β€” on the homepage of the component library I have to use at work, it was actually snowing this winter πŸ˜„ so maybe there’s still hope!

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the_nortern_dev profile image
NorthernDev

That is actually hilarious about your component library at work. Whoever snuck a falling snow effect into a corporate UI library is an absolute legend and deserves a raise. If they add a visitor counter or a spinning flaming logo next year, we know the renaissance has officially started. 😁

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sylwia-lask profile image
Sylwia Laskowska

Haha, I’ll tell you a secret… nooo, they absolutely do NOT deserve a raise πŸ˜„ But I’ll give them this β€” at least they kept the spirit of the old internet alive just a little bit πŸ˜‰

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the_nortern_dev profile image
NorthernDev

Fair enough, your secret is safe with me. I guess forcing some 90s nostalgia into the codebase does not automatically excuse writing terrible code. πŸ˜‚
But we still have to respect their commitment to the bit. I will cancel the petition for their raise, but they still get a silent nod of approval for the effort. πŸ˜‰

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pengeszikra profile image
Peter Vivo

Bit sad story about perfectionist coder who did not see trought the imperfections, even that is created by you in so young, finally you are here!
Congratulation for the speeaks in Conference.

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sylwia-lask profile image
Sylwia Laskowska

Thank you so much! 😊

And yes, exactly β€” when you look at it from today’s perspective, no matter how β€œugly” that website might have been, the fact that a 12-year-old built it at all is already a success.

And let’s be honest β€” the internet has more than enough space for all of it πŸ˜‰

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roman_shalabanov_e53b30b6 profile image
Roman Shalabanov

A story like this brought back some memories for me.

I'm from Ukraine, and I remember the late 90s when I was studying at university. I had no money and no idea how I would ever afford a PC. It felt out of reach. I once told a friend about it, and she shared something that stayed with me.

She said she had been buying CDs even before she had a CD player. Not because she needed them, but because she believed it would bring her closer to the moment when she could actually use them. And eventually, it did. She got the device.

So I started buying computer books. I couldn’t really use them at home, so I just imagined how I would. I read them and pictured myself working on my own computer instead of the university one.

And yes, it worked.

A few years later, I bought my first computer. Then came PHPNuke, my growing interest in PHP, and eventually my work became connected to it.

After the war began, things became harder again. And sometimes it feels like I need something similar to move forward.

Maybe it’s time to start 'collecting computer books' again.

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sylwia-lask profile image
Sylwia Laskowska

This is such a beautiful comment β€” thank you so much for sharing it πŸ’œ

Reading this also reminded me that, in a way, I was privileged back then. My parents were definitely not wealthy, but the truth is that very few people could afford a computer or even those 15 minutes of internet a day. And yet, I had that chance.

The part about β€œcollecting computer books” is incredibly touching. There’s something so powerful in that kind of belief β€” investing in a future you can’t fully access yet, but somehow already feel is yours.

I’m really sorry for what you’re going through now. I truly support Ukraine in any way I can, even if it’s small.

And honestly β€” I think you should consider writing this story down. It’s the kind of story that could inspire a lot of people πŸ’›

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roman_shalabanov_e53b30b6 profile image
Roman Shalabanov

investing in a future you can’t fully access

I believe it works in a few ways.

On one side, once you’ve spent time and money on something, you’re more likely to choose that path later when you’re deciding between different directions. Just human psychology. :)

On the other side, doing something, anything, makes you familiar with the area. You start seeing opportunities to reach your goals, even when for others it still looks like complete darkness.

A lot of successful people in the indie hackers community (people who run solo online businesses) say it’s not about making things perfect, but about the number of attempts.

Consistency beats perfection.

And maybe β€œcollecting books” is part of the process. Starting with what you can do right now is how you begin to live in your future.

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sylwia-lask profile image
Sylwia Laskowska

I think you’re absolutely right β€” there really is something to it 😊

I don’t have a direct β€œcollecting books” kind of experience myself, but one thing I’m 100% sure of from my own life is that consistency works. I’ve seen it over and over again, in different areas.

There were many situations where I honestly felt a bit embarrassed β€” someone would give 100%, and I was maybe giving 10%. But I kept going consistently for months or even years. And while that other person burned out at some point, I was still there… and eventually got much further.

That said, just so it doesn’t sound like I’ve got it all figured out πŸ˜„ β€” lately I’ve taken on so many of those β€œsmall things” that right now I mostly dream about resting and finally finishing them all.

Thankfully, I can already see a bit of light at the end of the tunnel 😊

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gass profile image
Gass

Great read. Remembering how the phone used to sound when attempting to connect to the internet brings a smile to my face.

I remember how excited I felt waking up to see if my game had completed downloading during the night. It was like christmas.

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sylwia-lask profile image
Sylwia Laskowska

Haha exactly, the downloading! πŸ˜„ These days it takes seconds or maybe a few minutes… back then it felt like it took forever.

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halakabir234hub profile image
Hala Kabir

Such a powerful and honest story πŸ’œ
It’s wild how a single message can almost change someone’s entire path. Thank you for sharing thisβ€”it's a reminder to all of us to choose kindness and give feedback that builds, not breaks. Every great developer starts somewhere πŸš€...

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sylwia-lask profile image
Sylwia Laskowska

Thank you so much! Exactly, feedback is incredibly valuable, but it should help people grow, not bring them down. There’s a big difference between constructive feedback and humiliation.

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javz profile image
Julien Avezou

We are often our harshest critics and build endless scenarios in our head of what could go wrong. My remedy to this is simple: just keeping taking action despite the doubts. Over time, you learn to be more comfortable being uncomfortable. The feeling for me never disappears but it gets more manageable.
Thank you for sharing this story Sylwia, I felt transported back to the 90s for a second there and it felt nice!

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sylwia-lask profile image
Sylwia Laskowska

Thank you so much, Julien , I really appreciate it 😊
And yes, that’s so true! You just have to keep doing things. Action itself is actually calming, in a way.
And about the 90s, I’ve always wondered what it looked like in a more β€œdeveloped” country back then, like Canada πŸ˜„ Today it’s probably quite similar, but in the 90s Poland was still catching up after communism, so there was quite a noticeable gap.

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javz profile image
Julien Avezou

My current location is indeed Canada as per my profile but I actually only moved there a few months ago so it would be hard to answer your question haha
I was born and raised in France in the suburbs of Paris. Things were different back then, some memories include (without revealing my exact age hehe) are of a game boy, playing marbles with friends. Writing with an ink pen and using a chalkboard at school.

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sylwia-lask profile image
Sylwia Laskowska

Haha, same here! πŸ˜„ I also remember things like that, it really feels like a shared experience across countries.
But I have to say, when I visited France around 2005, it felt like a completely different world to me. More developed, more β€œcivilized” in a way.
I haven’t been to France in many years now, but I travel to Brussels quite often (which used to feel like that same β€œbetter world” to me), and honestly… now there’s barely any difference.
Or sometimes it even feels like Poland has the advantage πŸ˜„ Mostly because some older systems, like paying by check, never really became a thing here, so we jumped straight into modern digital payments everywhere.

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javz profile image
Julien Avezou

That makes a lot of sense. I visited WrocΕ‚aw in the recent years and was very impressed by the infrastructure. Poland's rapid modernization over the last decades is very impressive.
When I was working in Berlin, many tech companies were seeking developer talent in Poland.

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sylwia-lask profile image
Sylwia Laskowska

Yes, exactly 😊 And WrocΕ‚aw actually looks a bit like my city, GdaΕ„sk.
And it’s true, a lot of companies look for developers from Poland. I always joke that it’s because we complain a lot, so we’re really good at spotting problems πŸ˜„

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javz profile image
Julien Avezou

Nice!
Oh I didn't know that about Polish. I can relate being French hahaha

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sylwia-lask profile image
Sylwia Laskowska

Haha Julien are you sure you don't have some polish genes? 🀣

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harsh2644 profile image
Harsh

This isn't just a story about coding. It's about every person who ever started something new, only to have someone try to tear them down.

How many future developers end their story right there that line stopped me. Made me think about my own journey, and how one cruel email could have ended it before it even began.

You're absolutely right. There's a huge difference between here's how to improve and 'you shouldn't have started.' The first builds bridges. The second burns them.

And that conference moment? Seeing you on that stage, telling this story, getting that applause that was the ultimate comeback. Not to that boy (who probably doesn't even remember), but to your younger self who needed to hear that she belonged.

Thank you for sharing this. It will give courage to so many beginners who need it.

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sylwia-lask profile image
Sylwia Laskowska

Thank you so much for this beautiful comment β€” it truly means a lot to me πŸ’œ

And yes… in my case it turned out well in the end, but it really could have gone the other way. That’s what makes it a bit scary when I think about it now.

How many people hear something like β€œthis isn’t for you” at the very beginning β€” and believe it? And then just… stop.

That’s why I wanted to share this story. Because sometimes the difference between continuing and quitting is much smaller than we think.

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alptekin profile image
alptekin I.

Hi Sylwia,
Touching story. Thanks for sharing. And really, this is probably so common, i mean, one gets an email, other hears a very harsh criticism, or fails in front of someone/some people she/he cares and totally feels ashamed, disappointed, discouraged, whatever, which might require years to erase the effect of that feeling.
I think it needs maybe some kind of over-self-confidence, not to be affected easily with these harsh moments BUT, being raised with values like being "humble", not bragging for what we do have, and therefore not showing over-confidence even for all good traits we could have (which is not necessarily bad, of course) can make us vulnerable against these moments.
Well this is... life.
Anyway, it has been too long message but i guess i felt empathy (maybe because of being a father of 2 daughters or perhaps i felt similar feelings deep inside but cannot surface it enough to remember exactly). I am glad you made it thru this (to such a nice career).. And, i must say it is a nice web page, made me feel nostalgia of those times...

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sylwia-lask profile image
Sylwia Laskowska

Thank you so much for this beautiful comment β€” I really appreciate it 😊

Exactly, I understand what you mean. I also have two daughters, so I know very well how careful we have to be with things like this.

And you’re absolutely right β€” we often raise children to be humble, not to brag, to stay modest… and then later in life it turns out they need a certain level of confidence to stand their ground. Not to show off, but simply to believe in themselves.

Thanks again for your thoughtful words β€” it really means a lot.

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teminian profile image
Robert Teminian • Edited

Dropping by from South Korea, where some are busy like hell preparing for comeback of the most renowned boy group in the country, BTS. :)

Touching story. I also share experiences similar to some of yours. Big boys doesn't cry, but I can't deny some of my heart becoming wet. Well done, my dear fellow developer.

Considering that,it looks like the life is same across the globe, regardless of the gender. Studying with intrinsic motivation(like...... "just for fun"?), discouraging and disappointing experience, bursting up the inner fire again, and so on and on and on......

Anyway, as developers,

"TOGETHER, WE'LL FIGHT AS ONE!"
- Artanis, Starcraft II "Legacy of Void"

to solve the problems and inconveniences scattered all over the world. And it's great to hear from a fellow with pure inner passion. Well done!

P.S:
Robert Teminian is my pen name. I'm native Korean and have my real Korean name. :)

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sylwia-lask profile image
Sylwia Laskowska

Thank you so much for your comment 😊

And this is exactly what I love about DEV β€” being able to connect and talk with people from all over the world.

You’re absolutely right, too. No matter the gender, culture, or where we live, so many of these experiences are surprisingly similar.

Also, I’ve never been to South Korea, but your culture really fascinates me β€” it must be an amazing place!

And by the way, I honestly thought BTS never really went anywhere β€” they’re still playing them on the radio here all the time πŸ˜„ Although to be fair… these days it’s APT. even more often πŸ˜„

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teminian profile image
Robert Teminian

μ•„νŒŒνŠΈ μ•„νŒŒνŠΈ μ•„νŒŒνŠΈ μ•„νŒŒνŠΈπŸŽ΅ lol
Trivia: I had no chances to play APT games, since I don't drink. :P

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sylwia-lask profile image
Sylwia Laskowska

Haha I had no idea! πŸ˜„ So APT is actually a drinking game too β€” now it makes even more sense why it’s so catchy πŸ˜„

By the way, what do you think about K-pop demon hunters? πŸ˜„ Even though I’m way past my teenage years, I absolutely love that vibe and the music β€” it honestly makes me want to visit Korea someday!

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teminian profile image
Robert Teminian

Since I don't subscribe to Netflix I didn't see the entire movie, but considering what I heard from my neighbors and saw from YouTube clips......

  1. The movie shows Seoul as it is, or the most accurately. They depicted stereotypical Korean people mixed with some funs that's accepted for public art. :) I giggled when I saw cutscenes of middle aged women from Soda Pop music video.
  2. I admit Golden is literally golden. I saw a doctor in a economics research center who used the music as BGM for his work. but still, my favorite is Soda Pop. It's lightweight and easy to listen
  3. Among protagonists, my favorite is Zoey. I love her clearing Gwi-ma in the final fighting scene, saying "he's my type! But work is work" with her glittering face. I can't love more. lol
  4. And the public bath scene in the ending...... I'm sure Sony team must have experienced it in Korea. It's far different from Japanese ones(and Sony is Japanese), and they depicted the bath as it is. Literally.

If you come to Korea, my wife runs an AirBnB in Seoul, which is a studio apartment with no shared spaces with other guests. I can't say that it's top quality, but it's surely cozy and at home with reasonable pricing, considering patterns of guests - about 50% of guests are European, and about 10~15% are Singaporean guests. I have no idea why there are more foreign guests than Korean native, but yeah, that's that(......).

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sylwia-lask profile image
Sylwia Laskowska

Haha, I think my favorite is the main one β€” Rumi, if I remember correctly? πŸ˜„

And if you say it really captures the vibe of Seoul, that makes me want to visit even more!

I don’t have any concrete plans yet β€” no tickets, no dates β€” but if I ever get myself organized and make it there, I’ll definitely reach out πŸ˜„

Who knows… maybe one day someone will invite me to a conference there πŸ‘€πŸ˜„

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teminian profile image
Robert Teminian

Great. Let me cross my fingers for you. Until then!

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